🔥💔 Intel just turned into the *real* "chill" company we never wanted. They’re laying off almost a THIRD of their squad faster than you can say "tech recession." 😂 The only thing moving faster than those layoffs? Your grandma trying to set up her new smartphone. 🤖💼 According to the chip giants, they're aiming for a “faster-moving, flatter, and more agile organization.” Wow, maybe they’ll be so agile they can dodge responsibilities too! 🚀💸 (Sorry not sorry, Intel fam) **“We’re just trying to be more flexible,”** said some guy named Chad from HR, probably while sipping on a double-shot mocha at the nearest Starbucks. ☕💀 Meanwhile, their foundry investments are taking a nosedive like my hopes for 2024. 📉**Drake:** “Started at the bottom, now we're here—oh wait, no we’re not.” 😩 But don't worry, the remaining employees can just retrain as life coaches. It’s basically the same thing, right? 😂 *This is fine* 🔥💁‍♂️ 🥴 Hot take: Intel’s next big move? Manufacturing chips that actually *make* chips. #MindBlown. 🌌💣💥 Time to hunker down, because it’s gonna get chaotic! Stonks? Nah, bro—more like *losestocks*. 🤡💰