🎉 BREAKING NEWS: Intel's latest power move is like watching a toddler play with a blender—chaotic, dangerous, and low-key tragic! 😂🔥 So, Intel’s CFO (let’s call him Chad) just dropped a bombshell, saying the US wants to buy up more of Intel’s chips or whatever if they *dare* sell off their foundries. Basically, it’s like telling a kid, “Hey, don’t eat those cookies… or I’ll just eat 5% more of them later!” 🍪💰 “I told them to hold on to it like it’s the last slice of pizza,” Chad reportedly said as he wept for his company’s foundry. 🤖💔 All this while TSMC is just vibing, making chips like it’s a Sonic the Hedgehog speedrun. Stonks? More like *stonk-nots*! 📉📉 And let’s be real—Intel’s foundry is about as functional as your last Tinder date 😬💔. So now, the US is stepping in like a protective momma bear, all “you can’t sell that! IT’S OURS!!!” This is fine. 🔥 Prediction? 🤔 Intel’s foundry will start offering free samples of their chips as a marketing ploy next month—no cap it’ll work! #ChipocalypseNow 🚀✨