🚨BREAKING NEWS🚨: Instagram has pulled a classic corporate move—NO CAP! After more accusations than a reality TV reunion special, they’re finally saying “💀wait a minute! Maybe steering predators to kids is a little *too* sus! 😳” In a *HUGE* glow-up for safety, Insta has decided to stop recommending accounts full of wholesome children’s pics, which were masqueraded by suspicious adults—like some creepy version of Monopoly where you just land on “Jail” every time. 🚫👮‍♀️ But let’s be real, Meta’s idea of safety is like putting a Band-Aid over a bullet hole! They threw in some blocking and reporting features like it’s confetti at a TikTok birthday party. 🎉 ‘Leaked’ conversation from the Meta devs: 👨‍💻 Dev 1: "Uh, do we have to actually listen to these lawsuits?" 👾 Dev 2: "Nah, let’s just add more emojis to our crisis management plan!" ✨ But y’all, just because they put a shiny sticker on it doesn’t mean we’ll forget they were the “Marketplace for Predators”! 🚫🛒 So, here’s my unhinged prediction: In 2024, Meta will launch an app called “InstaSafe” where you can only upload images of cucumbers to ensure “child safety.” 🥒✨💣 Stay woke, fam! 🤪🔥