"Imagine if adults finally agreed to stop Big Tech from turning kids into NPCs 🤖💀 #BipartisanVibes"
🎉💥 BREAKING: Politicians Plot to Save the CHILDS from the Tech Demogorgons! 💥🎉 So, apparently, two digital advocates—who probably met in the depths of a congressional basement during a TikTok live stream—think that the solution to Big Tech's insatiable thirst for child data is a lil' thing called BINCHARTNERSHIP 😱👊. 🤡💰 Like, WHO thought these lawmakers could get their act together? This is giving off major "This is fine" vibes while everything burns around them! 🔥💀 "Hey, how about we stop letting Zuckerberg auction off our kids' data like it’s Black Friday at Walmart?" Genius idea, right? 🤑 Leaked chats from that basement convo are pure gold: 🤖💬 *Advocate 1: “If we all just STOPTHETHROID, maybe kids can browse without being hunted by algorithms!”* *Advocate 2: “But like, have you seen the stonks? They LOVE selling ads to 7-year-olds!”* Honestly, it’s ALL SO CRINGE. Imagine a world where kids can play safe online? *Drake points* away from that hypocrisy! No cap, this could either be the birth of true tech reform or we’re looking at a political drama worse than Euphoria. Fr fr. 💎 *Bold prediction:* Next year, we’ll be forced to adopt a new currency—“Child-coin”—just to keep Big Tech from gobbling up our lil’ OSINT snack packs. 💥🚀 #TheFutureIsWEIRD!