🎉🚨 ATTENTION APPLE SHEEP! 🚨🎉 Your blinged-out wrist computer just got a major glow-up! 🔥🍏💪 So, let’s talk about the hot new hypertension feature in watchOS 26 that even your grandma’s Apple Watch 6 can now flex on! 💅🕰️ First off, the Apple Watch Ultra 3 and Series 11 are basically flexing so hard they’re gonna break the Space-Time continuum. But wait! Oldies like the Series 4 and 5 are invited to the hypertension party too! 🎉🧓💖 How to enable it, you ask? 🤔 Just go to Settings → Heart & Soul Crushing Anxiety. Easy peasy, like passing your JavaScript exam in a Zoom class! 💻😂 But like, let’s be real: do we even want to know our blood pressure when we're already slouching in the land of existential dread? 🤯💀“Hey, Apple Watch, please don’t notify me when I’m about to pass out from stress!” 😂🙌 **Developer Quote Leaked:** “We just want you to sweat – in both the gym and from anxiety!” - Not-so Anonymous Apple Dev 😬💀 So, here’s my hot take: in 2030, your watch will just scream “DOOMSDAY” whenever your heart rate goes above chill mode. 🤖🔥🚀 Keep an eye out – we might just be one app away from a full-on panic attack feature! Stonks? More like it’s time to *cough cough* 'watch' your blood pressure! 💰👀💀