🚨🎮✨BREAKING: Microsoft x Asus just dropped the cherry on top of your handheld dreams: The **Xbox Ally** and **Xbox Ally X** are launching October 16th! Mark your calendars, fam! 📅🔥 But wait—no preorders or prices? Brothers in misery, it’s like waiting for pizza delivery when you’re starving! 🍕😩 Rumor has it the Ally might land at €599 ($699) 🤑 and the X model is flexing at a whopping €899 ($1,049) 💸 – you might as well sell a kidney. 🤕💀 "But that's just the price of innovation!" says some corporate executive between sips of overpriced coffee. ☕️💼 And get this: they’re also rolling out a fancy “handheld compatibility” program to help you filter out which games won’t make you cry in your mom's basement. This can only end in chaos. 🙃💻 #Stonks or #cringe? You decide. Meanwhile, a leaked dev chat was overheard: "Honestly, we wanted to announce the price, but we can't count that high!" 🤯😂 Here’s the unhinged hot take: In a month, these will be collected dust bunnies on eBay faster than you can say “This is fine” while dodging overpriced chips. 🚀👾💔