🚨📣 BREAKING NEWS: HPE is trying to make “business changes” cooler than a TikTok dance challenge, and honestly, it’s giving off major *this is fine* vibes. 🔥💀 So, they formed a strategy committee 🕵️‍♂️ to sit around and talk about… strategy? 🤔💭 “Hey, guys, how about we charge our customers more for printers that barely work?” And they *actually* brought in a new board member, probably to spice things up. Guess they were rocking a 2010 PowerPoint slide deck! 🤡💾 And who’s helping this ancient tech dinosaur level up in the 21st century? 🔥 ELLIOTT! Yes, the hedge fund that’s about as popular as pineapple on pizza🍕, decided to jump aboard and boost value—whatever that means. I'm imagining some dude in a suit yelling, "STONKS!" while the HPE employees cringe in the background 😂📈. “Yeah, we’re making changes,” said one *definitely* real developer at HPE, “but if we don’t fix the Wi-Fi in our offices first, there’s no hope.” 🤖💀 💥🔥 HOT TAKE: By 2025, HPE will announce it’s pivoting to a **vegan podcasting platform** because why not? 😱🤷‍♂️ Make way for the *HPE garden of digital enlightenment!* 🌱🎙️