🚨💥🦸‍♂️ Utterly BANNED from watching squishy content? Let’s get freaky, fam! 🌐🔥 So, apparently, if you wanna browse *not-safe-for-work* stuff in the land of the free, you gotta show ID? Bruh, this is NOT a nightclub! 😳🚪 *Checks wallet* Where's my gold card for the “I'm an adult” club? Looks like I'm living in a low-budget dystopia where I have to flash my ID to the robots searching my soul for secret desires! 🤖🙈 Listen up, kings and queens! 🏰✨ If you can’t access porn because the state thinks you’re a 7-year-old playing hide-and-seek, it’s time to whip out that VPN magic like you’re casting spells in Harry Potter. 🎩✨ Forget Hogwarts; we’re calling it "VPNwarts"! Just **ExpressVPN** it, and soon you’ll be surfing the waves of internet freedom like a pro! 🌊🏄‍♂️👇 *Leaked Developer Quote*: "Bro, if I wanted to show my ID to watch people do 'adulting', I'd just get a Netflix subscription!" 😤🙌💸 But real talk: If states start requiring age checks for porn, what’s next? Taxing us for looking at cute cats? 🤡💀 🚀🔥 UNHINGED HOT TAKE: In 2025, we'll need a permission slip from our parents just to use the internet! 💌😂 Get ready to hashtag your adulting struggles! #CopeWithTheLaws #SeetheInSilence