🚨🔥🚇 BREAKING NEWS: Subway Heatwaves Got Us Sweatin’ Like We Just Ran a Marathon! 💦💀 So, they’re trying to keep our beloved metal boxes on wheels cool as the planet turns into an oven, and errbody is, um, not vibing with it 🌡️🚀! TikTokers in 2030 gonna be like: "This is fine" while we’re just trying to not melt into puddles during rush hour. 😅💩 Here’s the tea: They’re tossing around wacky ideas like 🍧 *cooling tunnels with water* and *painting trains white* (like we’re in a rave or something 🎨💃). But like…no cap? None of that is gonna fix our 10,000-degree sauna situation! 🤦‍♂️💥 **Leaked developer quote:** "Dude, we could just put fans in the trains and call it a day." – *Some guy on Slack* This is the equivalent of putting ice cubes in a volcano and calling it a miracle fix. 🔥🌋 At this point, we might as well just pay a guy to fan us from the door. 🤷‍♀️💵 👀 So here’s my totally valid, non-controversial prediction: Next year, subway riders are gonna start showing up with inflatable kiddie pools and portable AC units—insta-vibes or bust! 😂💰 #CoolTrainSaga #StonksInMeltedTurnstiles