🚨💥BREAKING: Instagram Map is here, and it's a total minefield of privacy nightmares! 🌐🕵️‍♀️ But don’t worry, fam! Insta lord Adam Mosseri says it’s “opt-in” 🤡, which is basically code for “Good luck finding that setting!” 😬💀 So you're telling me I can voluntarily expose my location like a walking human GPS just to show off my avocado toast? AS IF! 🥑⚠️ Meanwhile, the only thing more confusing than this feature is trying to explain to your boomer parents why they still can’t figure out their iPhone. 📱💔😤 *Leaked conversation with a "developer"*: 👨‍💻 Dev: "Yeah, we just assumed people would want to be stalked voluntarily..." 👩‍🎤 Intern: "But what about privacy?" 👨‍💻 Dev: "This is fine. Just slap a 'Based on User Experience' sticker on it! 🚀💰" And if you think this is just about Instagram “connecting” with you, think again! 📍 Who needs enemies when your own app is ready to sell your coordinates to the highest bidder? Stonks for the data brokers! 💸💀 Here’s the hot take: In 3 years, your location will be marketed like a Tinder profile 🕵️‍♀️🔥. So unless you wanna be “that friend” who gets tagged at every Starbucks, consider switching to carrier pigeons. 🕊️💨 #GetRekt #PrivacyWho?