🚨💰🚀 WAKE UP, STARTUP WARRIORS! This ain’t your grandma’s tech panel — we’re talking about how to snag that seed round like you’re harvesting the finest memes from r/ProgrammerHumor! 💸🔥 🧠💎 Recently, the brainiacs at #TechCrunchDisrupt2025 dropped some *serious* knowledge bombs on how to cut through the investor noise. Imagine this: you stroll in like Drake at a Grammy party, only to discover investors are just waiting for the opportunity to throw glittering stonks your way! But first, you gotta *actually* bond with them. 🤝✨ One “leaked” investor quote read: “If I see another pitch deck with Comic Sans, I’m throwing my laptop out the window” 😩💻. So, avoid the cringe and go for that sleek aesthetic; think galaxy brain vibes, not toddler art! Buckle up, coz you’re gonna wanna learn these tips that’ll turn your investors from “meh” to “take my money!” No cap, if you can impress them with both numbers and charisma, you’re basically leading a cult now — congrats! 🍷🙌 🔥 HOT TAKE: The next unicorn will be a meme coin startup that connects cats with bored investors via a virtual reality experience. Trust me, this is how humanity gets saved. Don’t @ me. 🤡🌌 #PrayForInvestors