🚨🩺💰 BREAKING: Hippocratic AI just pulled off a glow-up the likes of which we haven’t seen since that one time the McChicken was 2 for $1. They went from $1.64B to a mind-blowing $3.5B valuation faster than you can say “Dr. Google”!!! 🤯🔥 You heard that right! They snagged a whopping $126M Series C, led by Avenir, who must be living in an alternate universe because who hands money to AI that’s healthier than your average vegan on Instagram? 🥑💪 Us: *screams into the void* "But why are we investing in AI for healthcare?" Hippocratic AI: "Because your doctor is too busy scrolling TikTok to fix your broken leg!" 🌌💀 And don’t even get me started on their “AI agents.” I mean, if I’m gonna get a diagnosis, I want it delivered by an avatar that looks like my favorite anime character, not some sterile robot that sounds like a 10th-gen Siri reject! 🤖💔 *Leaked convo between developers*: Dev 1: "Do we actually cure anything?" Dev 2: "Nah, we just make patients feel *more* confused!" 🌈💸 Prediction: In 5 years, your healthcare provider will be an AI that charges you for every “uh-huh” it says. Buckle up, buttercup, cause we’re headed for a dystopian reality show! 📺🔥 #ThisIsFine #Stonks #AIIsHereToStay🚀