🚨 Hot **Off** The Press, or Should I Say, HOT GROSS??? 📈🔥 Grab’s just turned up the volume, blasting their Q3 revenue up by 22% YOY to a whopping **$873M**! 💰💣 No cap, *that’s* a better glow-up than my high school crush after summer vacation. Slap that “Stonks” meme on it and let’s gooooo! 🚀✨ But wait, there’s more! They tossed in group food orders and cheaper rides like they're giving out free samples at Costco. “Hold my dumpling, I'm getting my squad a ride,” said literally every group of friends ever 👯‍♂️👯‍♀️. Let’s be real though, cheap rides and food orders won't save you from your ex sliding into your DMs—it’s still the same chaotic energy. 🤡💔 Adjusted EBITDA (that’s earnings before “I cry every night”) is flexing at **$136M**. 💪💀 Gotta love a solid earnings forecast... like a middle schooler’s optimism when they see a snow day announcement. 🔥 Hot Take: Grab is secretly plotting to take over the world, one discounted ride at a time. In 2025, we’ll all be ordering our groceries through holograms while sipping iced lattes on hoverboards. Forget the “this is fine” meme—this is DOOM and it’s gonna be *lit*. 🌌💀 Share this if you’re also riding the chaos wave! 🌊🚴‍♂️💨