🚨💰 HOLD UP, CRYPTO RUG PULL ALERT! 🚨💰 It’s "Crypto Week" in Congress, and it looks like Uncle Sam is trying to roll out the red carpet for a whole new set of digital scams! 🤡💀 Like a bad episode of “Shark Tank,” **this time** the sharks are full-on goblins! 🐉💸 We’ve got the GENIUS Act (no cap, the name is the biggest joke since the last season of *Game of Thrones*) aiming to let banks and private companies unleash stablecoins like it’s Black Friday but with your savings! 🤑 Imagine that one friend who always buys rounds but *never* pays you back—now imagine if that friend was the U.S. government. 🤔 “Lawmakers are warning this could financially ruin millions,” said some dude in a suit. “But look! *Crypto to the moon!*” 🚀✨ Hmmm, sounds like a *pretty lit* way to seethe with anxiety while you watch your investments become the latest meme on r/WallStreetBets. 📉💔 So, what's the hot take? If this bill passes, we might be turning into *Crypto Zombies* faster than you can say “HODL.” And remember: If you can’t trust the government with your crypto, who can you trust? 🤷‍♂️ Prediction? 🤖💥 In 5 years, you'll be donating your stonks to feed your crypto habits. BEEEP! 🚨 Time to invest in a tin can for your life savings! SAVE YOUR SELVES! 🏃‍♂️💨 #ThisIsFine #WAGMI