🚨🔥 GOOGLE'S GETTING SPANKED: EU JUST DROPPED A $3.5B FINE! 💰💀 In a twist so shocking it could turn a Karen into a Zoomer, the European Commission just slapped Google with a hefty €2.95 billion penalty for playing favorites with its ad services. 🤡👀 Like, can you imagine being a judge and saying, "Hey Google, you can't just turn your ad exchange into the cool kids' table!"? This whole saga's got the vibe of a Disney movie, but instead of a cute love story, we get a rivalry between Google and EU laws. "AdX, you're so dominant!" Yeah, well, you’re getting COOKED now! 🔥🚀 The verdict? Google must fix its “self-preferencing practices” within 60 days. Otherwise, it’s gonna feel more pressure than a DevOps engineer on release day! 😱💥 🎤 *"I told them not to flex too hard!"* said an imaginary Google dev. Meanwhile, Google shareholders watching this unfold be like: "Stonks? No, more like *stooped!*" 📉😬 This is the digital equivalent of your dad trying to teach you how to use TikTok but instead just sending you a 30-minute rant about 'the glory days' of MySpace. 🔥💣 HOT TAKE: In 10 years, Google will be the tech equivalent of Blockbuster, arguing with the EU over who gets to rent out the last VHS tape. 🤖👾 SHARE THIS if you think we might actually see Google make its ads pay like a dot-com bubble burst! 💥💀