🚨BREAKING 🚨: Google is out here like "Please, regulators! 😩 We’re just little ol’ Alphabet trying to innovate, but this DMA (Dull Mega-Attempt) is cramping our vibes!” 😤💅 Like, did Google seriously just do that? They’re basically the kid who ate all the cookies 🍪 and is now asking for a cookie budget. This is the Digital Monopoly Act, right? And Google’s acting like they’ve been wronged because “innovation” is getting hit with a red tape uppercut 🥊. And let’s be real, when they say “we can’t innovate because of the EU,” we’re all just like: 👀 Drake pointing at the "speed limit" signs telling him to slow down. Like, bro, you’re not even on the road anymore—this is space. 🚀💫 Some spicy leaked quotes from a Google dev: "Honestly, we just want to be able to track your every move without restrictions. Is THAT too much to ask?!" 😂💀 So what’s the prediction? Stonks 📈 on EU tech regulations crashing harder than my will to do laundry. 🧺🔥 Mark my words: in 2024, Google's gonna resort to creating *their own country* for innovation. You heard it here first! 🤡💯