🚨📱💥 BREAKING: Google’s Earthquake Alerts Algorithm is Getting a Makeover! 🤖💅 So, like, Google just put its earthquake alert system on a *glow-up* diet, but not before it ghosted 10 MILLION peeps in Turkey during a major quake. Like, my guy, they were probably like “This is fine” while the ground shook beneath their feet. 😳🔥 🔍 According to the BBC (*Big-Bucks Casualties * 🙃), Google fessed up and said their algorithm was basically that one friend who constantly says “I’ll text you when I’m home” but never does. 🤦‍♂️💔 And oh boy, imagine a developer in the Google HQ saying, “Bro, if only we had a better algorithm—like, something that didn’t hit snooze during a 7.5 magnitude quake.” 🤣💀 But in classic tech fashion, they’re now acting like they unlocked galaxy brain status with new updates because what’s an earthquake if not a great opportunity for a PR manager to flex?! 📈💰 So here’s a hot take: Google will pivot from Earthquake Alerts to selling earthquake memes and merch next. “Get your ‘Shake It Off’ t-shirt before the big one hits! 😜✨ #Stonks 🤩 Get ready to seethe and cope with those notifications, folks! 💥📉 And remember: When life shakes you, just 🕺 *dance* it off!