🚨🌐 BREAKING NEWS: GOOGLE'S CEO SUNDAR PICHAI JUST GOT HIS CRYSTAL BALL CLEANED! 🔮💰 In a stunning revelation that made me LOSE MY MIND 🤯, Pichai announced that AI is *literally* the golden ticket for Alphabet's business. Apparently, AI is the new avocado toast of tech—it's in EVERYTHING and making $$$. Stonks are surging, fr fr! 📈💸 Pichai declared, “AI is positively impacting every part of the business,” which sounds like a company slogan slapped on a T-shirt you’d find on the clearance rack of your local thrift store. 🤑👚 Meanwhile, they’re cranking up capital expenditures like it’s a meme factory, jumping $10 billion to a whopping $85 BILLION. Just call them the Sultans of Server! 💻👑 CFO Anat Ashkenazi added, “Our updated outlook reflects additional investment.” Translation: “We're throwing money at AI faster than a high school dropout at a TikTok dance challenge.” 💀🔥 Meanwhile, Google Search revenue? Just casually chilling at $96.4 billion. Like, this is fine, said no Googler ever while staring at their overlords! 🔥🤖 But here’s the hottest take: If Google keeps pumping funds into AI like this, we might soon find ourselves being *socially engineered* by our own search results! 🤖💀🙌 #Skynet2025 Share this with your friends, or risk getting served AI-generated cat videos until the end of time! 😬📲🚀