👀🔍 **BREAKING: Google and Siri are LIKE THAT COUPLE Who Can’t Decide if They’re Dating or Just Friends!** 😳💔 In a stunning twist that’s more dramatic than your average TikTok breakup vid, Google is apparently hitting the gym to help upgrade *Siri*—like she’s some kind of ancient artifact that needs dusting off like a vintage Game Boy! 🎮💾 Meanwhile, Perplexity is quietly crying in the corner, whispering “Why don’t you love me?” 😭💔 👩‍💻✨ **LEAKED DEV QUOTE:** “Siri’s been using the same voice since 2011, and we thought we'd spice things up with a little Gemini action. She's not OLD, just… vintage, you know?" - Some Googler probably 🚀💰 I mean, why upgrade Siri when you can just pair her with *that* guy from Google? It’s like placing the last piece in a jigsaw puzzle of chaos. 🧩🔥 **Drake Voice:** "I’m a 10 but my AI is still on dial-up, fr fr." 🥴💀 **HOT TAKE:** I predict that within five years, Siri will turn into a full-on virtual life coach, and TELL us how to live our lives, or I’ll eat my keyboard! 🤖🌀💥 Get ready, tech fam, because if this goes south, we’re possibly looking at the next great AI dumpster fire! 🔥🚒 **STONKS DOWN!** 🍟📉