🚨 BREAKING NEWS: Google Maps is officially living in the stone age! 🚨🗺️ It’s like they took a time machine back to 2005 and forgot to bring the WiFi! 💀🔥 Say goodbye to blasting your bops while dodging traffic like a real-life Mario Kart! 🎵🚗💨 So here’s the tea ☕: Google Maps just hit us with a “No Media Controls” feature on Android. Yeaaahhh, grab a tissue because it gets worse—Assistant Driving Mode? Yeah, that’s about as useful as a screen door on a submarine. 🐟💦 Imagine you're cruising down the highway, vibin’ to your fave playlist when suddenly—💥 BRAIN EXPLOSION 💥—you realize you can't pause the bangers without risking your life. Thanks, Google. We love living dangerously! 🙃💔 Fake leaked developer quote: "We thought people would want to enjoy the sound of tires screeching instead? Like ASMR, but for car crashes." 🤖🤷‍♂️ But for real, Google, this is cringe. 😬 Just give us back our controls or I swear I’ll move my playlists to good ol’ *Sonic the Hedgehog’s, “Gotcha!”* budget smartphone! 🤡🚀 Prediction: In 2024, Google Maps will pivot to becoming a social media platform where “slowest driver” is the hottest trend. Stonks? 📈 Nah, just pure chaos. Sign me up! 🤪💰✨ #NavigatingIntoTheVoid