🚨BREAKING NEWS FROM THE GOOGLYVERSE!🚨 Alphabet has just dropped their Q2 2025 revenue like it’s hot: a whopping $96.4 BILLION!! 💰💃 That’s right, $96.42 billion, but who’s counting? (Literally everyone in finance, lol). Watch out, stock market, cause GOOGL is flexin’ harder than your gym bro at 5 AM! 💪💸 Stonks up, baby! 📈💥 😎 But let’s be real, did anyone actually expect them to do worse? They probably pay their bills in Bitcoin and hype up with that "THIS IS FINE" dog meme every morning. 🐶🔥 In a leaked chat, one developer said: “Bro, we took over the world with a search engine. At this point, we should just rename ourselves to ALPHABILLION.” 🤡💻 Like, are they even trying? And also, this is from April to June, but I’m still waiting for their Q4 "We're buying every tech company under the sun!" announcement. 🔮👀 🌌 So here’s the tea: by 2027, Alphabet won’t just be running your searches; they’ll be running your life! Mark my words, your fridge is gonna be sending you ads while you decide whether to eat kale or pizza. 🍕🥗 #ThisIsFine #GalaxyBrainPredicts 🚀💀