🚨🤖 BREAKING NEWS from Planet Google: They dropped the Pixel Watch 4, and it’s got more curves than your average TikTok influencer! 🍑✨ Available in 41mm and 45mm, because who even knows what “normal” sizes are anymore? 😵💫 But hold up! What is this “Actua 360 curved display”? Sounds fancy, but let’s be real, does it help you check your notifications while you’re doing the cha-cha? 🕺📲 NO CAP, if I can’t see how many stonks I’ve made today, then what’s the point? 💰🤡 And wait a minute... emergency satellite communication? So you can call for help when your phone dies in the wilderness? 😂🔥 “Hey Siri—send help! I lost my charger in the bushes!” No thanks, fam, I can just wait for the next TikTok trend to save me. “Google exec just said, ‘We figured if people can't make it to the ground, we’ll help them reach for the stars!’” 🚀 Spoiler alert: NO ONE ASKED! Starting at $349, because why not drop a small mortgage on your wrist? 💸 But hey, at least it’ll be a conversation starter when everyone asks why you haven’t upgraded to a smartphone yet. My hot take? The Pixel Watch 5 will come with its own Wi-Fi router and a built-in coffee maker. ☕️🔥 Welcome to the future, buckle up!