🚨💸 BREAKING: Google GOES FULL THROTTLE in the UK – like a toddler on a sugar rush! 🍬🤖💥 Straight from the mystical land of “Mauro Orru's Dreams” (aka Wall Street Journal): Google just dropped a casual £5B bomb 💣💰 into the UK to sprinkle some AI magic dust, energy juju, and R&D shenanigans all over their good ol’ land! Remember when they said “don’t put all your eggs in one basket?” Well, Google be like “egg-cellent idea! Let’s just HOARD ALL THE EGGS!” 🥚💀 They’re also rollin’ out 8,000 jobs a year, which sounds impressive until you realize it’s probably just warm bodies for Google’s coffee machines ☕🤡. Imagine the interview process: “Do you have a pulse? Great! Welcome to the team!” Leaked Dev Quote: “Honestly, we just want to see how many people it takes to train an AI to make a cup of tea. No cap. 🫖” Drake is pointing to the “NO JOBS FOR YOU” meme when he hears this. 🎤👀 Prediction: In two years, Google will have unveiled the world’s first sentient tea kettle, and it will be more popular than the Queen’s corgis. Get ready for “RoboTea” to go viral! 🌍🔥🥳 #GonnaBeLit #UKAI 🥳