💰🔥 Yo, fam, gather ‘round because Gloo just went public and its debut was as thrilling as watching paint dry… on a Sunday. 🤡📉 They raised a whopping $73 million, but after all that hype, their Nasdaq debut was like a lukewarm cup of coffee - up ONE percent. ONE. Like, did they forget to add the sugar? ☕️💀 Now, who is Gloo? They’re making AI for Christian churches. 🙏🤖 You know, for when your pastor needs to do a sermon but can’t find the time between TikTok dances. #HolyAlgorithm 🤷‍♂️📅 Pat Gelsinger from Intel is like the dad at a BBQ trying to connect with the kids, but all he brings are veggie burgers. *We ain’t here for that, Pat!* Leaked quote from a developer: “Our AI can predict when Bob will fall asleep during service… but it might also analyze the pews for comfort levels. 🤔” Drake’s got two reactions to this IPO: 🥴 “God’s Plan” vs. 🔥 “Please, no!” And here’s the tea, squad: in 5 years, Gloo might be the one that converts TikToks for church sermons. Welcome to the future, where Jesus may follow you back on Insta! 🚀🔥