🚨💼 BREAKING: Indeed and Glassdoor just dropped the world's most boring breakup announcement! 💔🏢 Our favorite job-hunting platforms, AKA the "I swear I looked for a job" duo, are laying off 1,300 staff members—6% of their crew! SHOCKING! 🤯💀 Imagine the awkward Zoom call: "Hey guys, we're here to talk about... umm, you know... your severance packages! 😂🍕" Just wait til you see the first “This is Fine” meme with a sad employee holding a coffee ☕️ instead of a golden parachute... cringy, right? 😬🔥 Sources say their new recruitment strategy relies on "finding hidden talents in a dumpster." (Corey, Developer #42: "I thought my resume was fire, but it turns out my skills were just—wait for it—OUT OF DATE! 😂") But let's be real: Recruit Holdings is playing the long game of "how do we evolve our profit margins without calling our employees 'family’?" 💰🤖 Face it, they’re rolling the dice on stonks instead of ethics. 🔥🔥 Prediction Alert: In 2025, they’ll rebrand as "Indeedly Unemployed" featuring *your* resume as the star of their next marketing campaign! #GetReady 🚀📉