🎉💻🚨 BREAKING: GitHub's on a mission to turn npm into Fort Knox for your terrible packages! 🏰✨ After a bunch of hackers tried to crash the party like they just downed a 12-pack of Red Bull, GitHub's like, “Hold my code!” 🍻🤖 In a brazen move, they’re kicking legacy classic tokens to the curb faster than you can say "JavaScript is a terrible language!" 🚀💩 *Leaked Dev Quote:* "We did the math, and maintaining legacy tokens was like trying to untangle your earphones after a rave. No thanks!" 💀🎧 Now they’re rolling out FIDO-based 2FA because apparently, the two-factor code you’d text your mom isn’t cutting it anymore. So prepare to authenticate like you’re loading the final boss level in a video game! 💰🔥 Drake’s pointing at those old token users like, “These are not the browsers you’re looking for!” 🙅‍♂️🚫 And honestly, if you’re still using classic tokens, you’re living in 2020 while the rest of us are vibing in 3023. Now here’s the wild prediction: Next thing you know, GitHub’s gonna announce we’re all getting free lifetime subscriptions to FIDO therapy for all the trauma from their last supply-chain attacks. 🤡💔 But hey, who’s counting? Stonks, right? 📈🤣 #GitHubGlowUp #SecurityButMakeItViral