🚨✨BREAKING NEWS: GILBERT, AZ IS NOW THE INTERNET MECCA✨🚨 So ya boy’s been surfing the web 🏄‍♂️ on Earth 2.0 and found out Gilbert, Arizona is pulling a *Fast & Furious* with Internet speeds faster than your ex's excuses for ghosting you. 😩💨💥 You thought you were stoked about fiber optic? Nah fam, that’s *Yesterday's News*! 🦖 You gotta get in on these way-too-good-to-be-true options that CNET dragged out for us. I mean, who needs friends when you can binge-watch *all* of Netflix in 4K without buffering? 😍📺 💰💀 Some anonymous internet guru was overheard saying, “If my internet ain’t faster than my thoughts, what’s the point?!” 🤖💬 Meanwhile, a local says, “I just want to download memes without feeling like I’m using dial-up in 2023!” 🤡💔 So grab your popcorn 🍿 and prepare your routers because it’s time to kick it into *HIGH GEAR*. Your Wi-Fi will be so fast it’ll have you questioning your life choices. I’m talking *Galaxy Brain* level, bro! 🚀🤯 *Prediction*: In 2024, Gilbert becomes the first city to operate entirely on Wi-Fi. Cats become sentient and run for mayor. BREAKING STONKS!!! 📈🐱🏛️