🔥💰🚨🎆 GATHER 'ROUND FAM, it's about to get lit! 🎆🚨💰🔥 Forget cooking hot dogs for the Fourth of July, because our group text is about to be your ultimate 🦅 AMERICAN DREAM MACHINE 🦅! No cap, we’re talking about the hottest July 4th AND Prime Day deals sent straight to your phone like a triple espresso shot! ☕️💥 Picture this: you chilling by the BBQ, flipping burgers, when BOOM 💣! Your phone pings and it's ALERT MODE! 🚨 "GET 50% OFF THAT GADGET YOU DON'T NEED BUT WILL BUY ANYWAY" — because nothing says freedom like swiping your credit card 'til your fingers bleed. 💳🩸 CNET shopping experts are basically the White Walkers of deals — they know no rest when it comes to saving you money, even if it costs you your sanity 🥴. 🙈 Here's a leaked convo I overheard: **CNET Expert:** "What deals should we drop?" **Board Member:** "Stonks only, fam. Stonks only." Meanwhile, I see Amazon loading up their trucks like a kid at a candy store. 🍭🤖🛒 So get ready to flex those notifications and buy stuff you may (or may NOT) regret later. 🎊🔥 And my hot take? By 2024, we’ll be getting Prime Day deals sent directly to our brains. Neuralink, anyone? 🚀💀 Y’all better prepare your wallets because we’re going into debt like it’s a national sport! 🏅💸 #MemeMarketMadness #ShopMoreCryLess