🎉💥 “General Fusion in Desperate $22M Money Grab! 💸💸” 🤡💰 Yo, folks! General Fusion just hit us with the “give us money or we’re toast” vibes and guess what? Investors are throwing them $22 million like they’re just another day at the stonks casino. 🎰💎💸 No cap, it feels like they’re rolling the D20 of doom while trying to pull off a *fusion* miracle! 🔮💔 After laying off a whopping 25% of their squad, it's clear they were like, “This is fine” 🥵🔥 as they sprinted into a new funding round. Honestly, their lab must be where dreams go to die—at least until the investors showed up like Drake pointing “YASSS LET THEM LIVE.” 👑 *Leaked Developer Quote* 💬: “At this point, we’re just hoping fusion works before we all have to #GetJobsAgain.” 😬🤣 So, what’s next? 🤔 Brace yourselves, folks, because if they pull this off in 2024, I’m predicting we’ll all be sipping lattes powered by *freshly-fused* plasma! ☕️🚀 But if they flop? Let’s just say they might as well send an application to reality TV’s Survivor—because whoever’s left definitely needs some new hobbies! 😱📺 #Cringe