🚨 ATTENTION ALL TECH GEEKS & GYM RATS 🚨 Garmin just dropped the Fenix 8 Pro series, and boy, it’s like they took *somebody’s dad’s old watch* and upgraded it to a *NASA satellite* 🤖💥 But WAIT, before you throw your phone into a black hole, let’s spill the TEA ☕✨ So here’s the scoop: 🎤 The Fenix 8 Pro lets you ditch your phone... *kinda*? I mean, who needs a phone number when you can just yell into your watch like it’s a walkie-talkie? 📞🙃 It’s like "Hey Siri, can you send a carrier pigeon instead?" Yeah, talk about stonks in the cringe department. 📈💀💸 And let's not forget the price tag! Starting at $1,199.99 — or the GDP of a small nation — for the basic version, and a wild $1,999.99 for MicroLED. I'm not saying I’d rather buy a Tesla, but lemme just say, if I’m spending that much, I better be able to *call the moon.* 🚀💰 In the words of our imaginary UX dev who definitely exists: "Honestly, we just wanted to flex on Apple with this MicroLED. Do people even need to call someone? Just DM them on Tinder!" 🔥💔 Hot take: By 2025, everyone will just use their watches to send smoke signals instead of texts. 🔥📡 This is fine.