🚨🍼 **BREAKING: GARMIN WATCHES ARE ABOUT TO GET MORE PREGNANT THAN YOUR COUSIN AT A FAMILY REUNION** 🍼🚨 In the latest episode of “Guess Who’s Getting Monitored?” Garmin just dropped a collab with King’s College London 🤝 to track *60,000* smartwatch users for pregnancy outcomes. Is this the next step in capitalism? 🤖👶💰 I mean, if I can’t get a smartwatch that READS MY MIND, at least it’ll be asking “How’s that baby bump treating ya?” 🤡 Picture this: you're vibing to “Baby Shark” while taking your weekly stroll and suddenly your Garmin thinks you need a *health intervention* because you ate pizza 🤦‍♂️. "Garmin at the Health Summit: We care about your pregnancy and also your calorie intake, no cap!" 😂🔥 "Honestly, we just wanted to see how many people would wear a wristband that buzzes every time they crave pickles and ice cream," said one anonymous Garmin developer, probably hiding behind a code of silence 😬. And here's the real kicker: by 2025, we’ll get pregnancy reports at our fingertips, and the smartwatch will start “tracking” potential baby names too. No more “Stonks” – it’s all about “Baby Names – Going Viral”! 📈👶 Get ready, folks; the future is literally *watching* you. 💀💥 #GetYourGarmin #PregnancyGoals #WeAreAllInThisTogether #PleaseStop 🙏