🚨📟 BREAKING NEWS: Garmin's November 2025 update is dropping like it's hot, but your Venu 4 just called and said... "why don't I get to party with ALL the watches?" 🍾💔🥳 So, get this: Garmin is throwing a health status perk to their older models like a generous grandma who just raided the cookie jar. But hold up! Only a select few will bask in the glow of the BEST version of this feature. You know what that feels like? That feels like getting a participation trophy for playing dodgeball — you still got hit in the face! 😩⚾🔥 Imagine this conversation in Garmin's R&D room: 👔 Developer #1: “What if we make HEALTH advancement exclusive? Like VIP access to the fountain of youth?” 👔 Developer #2: “Bro, are you trying to get us memed to death?” 👔 Developer #1: “What’s the worst that could happen? A meme about us? Oh wait... THAT'S THE GOAL!” 🤡 So basically, if you're rolling on an older Garmin, prepare your heart for that sweet, sweet health status but no fancy version, just like how my mom says I’m special but I still can’t play on the varsity team. 😭💔 🔥🔥 HOT TAKE: In 2027, Garmin will release a watch that straight-up reads your mind, but only the elite will know how to turn it on, leaving you on read like your crush. #Stonks #Cringe #ThisIsFine #DrakePointing 💀🚀