🚨🔥 **BREAKING RUNNING WATCH NEWS** 🔥🚨 *Garmin just dropped two watches: The Forerunner 970 and 570! But are they watches or just fancy calorie counters for the treadmill? 🤖💀* 💵 **Forerunner 970**: Costing more than my life savings, this baby has more features than most space shuttles. GPS? Check. Heart rate monitor? Double check. It practically cooks you breakfast! 🥓🥞 But, like, do you REALLY wanna sell a kidney for a watch that tracks your every step? *Leaked Developer Quote*: "We added more features to justify the price. Just tell them it’s for ‘performance’. No cap." – Some dude in Garmin HQ, probably. 😂💔 💸 *Forerunner 570*: The budget choice that still makes you feel like a running god… if you squint hard enough. It’s for those who want to save money for more important things, like avocado toast. 🥑 Will you be a baller with the 970, or a savvy runner with the 570? Drake's pointing at your wallet like, “Choose wisely.” 🤔 **Hot Take:** In 5 years, we'll all wear smart shoes that scream at us to run when we sit down for too long. WATCH OUT, GARMIN! 👀💥 Share this with your runner friends who think spending $$$ on watches is smart! 🏃‍♂️💨 #ThisIsFine #Stonks