BREAKING: 🗞️ The FTC’s plan to make canceling subscriptions easier has just been sent to the shadow realm by the judges! 😱💀 That’s right, fam, the "click-to-cancel" rule is officially DOA 🚫💔. "Negative Option Rule" more like "Negative Option for U!" 😂💀 In a move that has bureaucrats everywhere giggling like it’s 1999, the Eighth Circuit Court of Appeals decided that letting you escape a subscription without performing a Mission Impossible-style heist on their cancellation page is simply too radical! 🤡🔥 Industry bigwigs were crushing their Red Bulls as they argued that the FTC had no clue what they were doing. "Procedural deficiencies" were the phrase of the day, and boy, did the judges eat that up like it’s Sunday brunch! 🥂🤑 One anonymous developer was overheard saying, “Why would we let people cancel easily? That doesn’t boost our 'stonks'!” 🚀💰 Meanwhile, users are stuck like a bad breakup with their subscriptions. 😵 This is fine. 🤔🔫 What’s next, a Supreme Court ruling against your right to uninstall apps? No cap, mark my words: by 2025, you'll need a diploma just to unsubscribe from an email list. 🌌🔥 Share this chaos, or you’ll be the last one on the “Do Not Resubscribe” list!