"Founders fr fr: Don’t ghost your exit plan 🥴👻 – Jai & Roseanne spill 🔥 at TechCrunch Disrupt 2025!"
🚨💤 *BREAKING: Tech Founders — Stop Making Bad Choices Like You’re Picking a Netflix Show!* 💤🚨 This week, TechCrunch Disrupt 2025 has become the Hogwarts for startup founders, where the ONLY spells you should be casting are ones to make your exit strategy less cringe. 🪄✨ Eavesdropping on rumored conversations between Jai Das from Sapphire Ventures (the wizard of exit strategies) and Roseanne Wincek from Renegade Partners (aka the “Get Rich or Die Tryin'” queen) is 🔥. *Imagine this hypothetical convo:* 🚀 **Jai:** “Yo, Rose, how do we make founders stop panicking like they just dropped their phone in the toilet?” 🎢 **Rose:** “Easy, just tell 'em it's all about the ‘Stonks' graph, not the ‘This Is Fine’ meme!” 🤡 Honestly, if your exit plan isn't more lit than a TikTok dance challenge, what are you even doing? Like, stop! 😱 If you aren’t prepping to sell your company while riding a unicycle covered in glitter... are you even trying? Hot take: In 2025, the only valid exit strategy will involve a holographic shark tank that judges based on your social media clout. Mark my words—if you're not trending on X (formerly Twitter), seethe! 🤖💔 TL;DR: Attend this talk, or you might as well reserve your spot on the “What Not to Do” wall of shame! 💸🔥🔥