🚨 Tired of living in the digital fishbowl? 🐟💻 Wanna delete yourself faster than your ex on social media? 😱💨 Well, I found the fastest way to go ghost online and it's easier than dodging your mom's calls! 📞👻 So, ZDNET decided to drop some “wise advice” on what their recommendations even mean 🤔💔. *Spoiler alert:* it’s basically their way of saying, “We spent countless hours scrolling through the abyss of the internet to pick our faves. But don’t go thinking we actually care about you!” 🤡💀 Here’s the TEA ☕️: they’re just trying to make sure the only thing that survives your digital footprint is your embarrassing high school photos. 📸💀 “What would you like to delete today?” they asked. “My browsing history, buddy!” said no one ever. 😂🚫 🔥 Pro Tip: if you REALLY wanna disappear, just pay me 50 bucks and I’ll tell you *who* to send a strongly-worded email to that’ll get you wiped from existence faster than a Bad Doge meme. 💰💥 Hot Take: In 2024, the next big trend will be “self-deleting” apps – just swipe right to vanish forever, no cap. 😱💀🪄🔥 Stay woke, internet! 🌌🚀