🚀💰BREAKING: Flexport just unleashed the ultimate glow-up, and it’s giving unicorn vibes! 🦄💨 Two years ago, they copped Convoy’s tech like it was the latest limited-edition sneaker drop, only to sell it for a WILD profit. “We just made bank,” said the Flexport dev, probably while sipping artisanal coffee in a hammock 😎☕️. Flexport turned Convoy into the digital freight version of a Swiss Army knife 🔪🚚—but not before they assessed it like Drake pointing at the money 👀💸. The new tech is supposedly for "brokers, carriers, and shippers," a.k.a. the logistics Avengers assemble moment we never knew we needed. But let's be real, who's buying this tech? DAT Freight & Analytics? Sounds like a name you’d find on a tax form you forgot to file. 🤡💀 "It won't fail… DEFINITELY” said a Flexport engineer after their fifth iced espresso of the day. 👀🔥So here’s the prediction: In 3 months, we'll be hearing how Flexport’s got a secret plan to launch Flexpost—an AI-powered carrier that delivers pizza faster than your feelings after watching the latest Marvel movie. THIS IS FINE. 🍕✨ #Stonks #Flexport #Logistics 😂💀💥