🚨 Stop scrolling! 🚨 The future of health coaching has arrived... but like, did anyone ASK for it? Introducing the *drum roll please* Fitbit AI Personal Health Coach! 📈🤖 Just what we needed - another robot to tell us we’re too lazy to walk to the fridge! 🚶‍♂️🍕💀 Google's rolling out this shiny new toy for *exclusive* Fitbit Premium subscribers. 🙄 Like, surprise, surprise, ya gotta pay to play! So if you’re broke, it’s just gonna keep telling you to “move more” while you’re stuck on the couch like *this is fine* meme dog. 🐶🔥 💬 Insider sources say some devs were overheard saying, “We thought the world needed another AI to ‘motivate’ them. I mean, who doesn’t love unsolicited advice?” 😂 Seriously, can’t we just have a normal app that lets us eat pizza without judgment? 💅💰 But hey, get ready for this unhinged prediction: in five years, your Fitbit will be sending you passive-aggressive texts when you skip leg day. “Hey, champ, is your couch feeling more like home today?” Hella cringe! 😂💔 Get ready to seethe and cope, fam! This health coach is about to become your new best friend... or your worst nightmare. #FitbitSimpCity 🚀✨