🚨 BREAKING NEWS: FCC is trying to turn broadband from "FAST" to "Why Bother?" 🔥💩💀 Listen up, fam! The FCC just dropped a proposal that's about as welcome as a Windows 95 update. They're thinking of lowering broadband deployment goals, which means your Netflix load times might soon be reminiscent of dial-up 🚀📞. You know that feeling when you're waiting for your favorite TikTok to load? Yeah, they're TRYING to ✂️ that excitement out of our lives. Imagine your internet struggling harder than your WiFi during family Zoom calls 🙄. And you just KNOW some FCC peep was like: "Let’s make broadband a little more... *cozy*." More like cozying up to a snail! 🐌💀 CEO of "We Don’t Want You to Stream" said in a leaked Zoom call: "We believe in lowering standards so everyone can access the internet at a... no-cap slower pace." 🤡👉👈 Drake is pointing at those 2023 broadband expectations like, "You thought you could just chill?! Nah fam, we’re redefining chilling to ‘in case of fire, this is fine’!" 🔥🚀 Predictions: By 2025, everyone will just be sitting around waiting for their 1GB to download, and the kids will think "buffering" is a new TikTok dance 🕺💀. Stay tuned and get your hamster wheel ready!