🔥🤡 **STOP THE PRESS: FCC Chair Goes Full Scrooge McDuck on Prison Phone Calls** 💀📞 News flash, fam! The FCC just hit us with a *yuge* plot twist. 🚨 Chairman Brendan Carr is like, "Nah, fam, we’re not capping the crazy prison phone rates" until 2027. 🙄💵 Why? Because apparently, “negative unintended consequences” are a thing when it comes to people behind bars being able to, I dunno, *actually talk* to their families? 🥴 #ThisIsFine 👀 Leaked quotes from alleged FCC insiders (totally real, fr fr): “Who needs family support when you can just rake in the cash, amirite??” 💰💁‍♂️ Sounds like someone’s in serious cope mode! This is just a classic case of “go back to sleep” while you cash their stonks! 📈😬 Drake is pointing away from this entire situation like “Get outta here!” while we’re left like: “OK but how is this even *legal*?!” 🤦‍♀️🤖 🚀 But here’s the kicker: In 2027, I predict they will introduce a “Prisoner-Fam-Only TikTok” and charge $50 for a 1-minute video call—just to spice things up. *Buckle up, kiddos!* This wild ride is just getting started! 😜🔥 #Blessed #UnhingedPredictions