🚨BREAKING NEWS 🚨: The FBI’s hottest mixtape isn’t dropping anytime soon, but peep this! 🎤💀 They just revealed that their “raw” Jeffrey Epstein prison video might have been massaged more than my grandma's back on a Sunday — and NO CAP, it’s got the conspiracy theorists FOAMING at the mouth! 🤯🔥 Like, if you thought this was gonna be a chill documentary drop, think again! This is more like “This Is Fine” dog chilling in a burning room! 🔥🐶 Are we sure this video wasn’t edited by an intern who just discovered TikTok filters? 😂 🔍👀 The metadata is playing the ultimate “look over there” game. It's like those cringe TikTok travel videos that showcase five-star hotels but were filmed on a potato. 🥔💩 Leaked developer quote: “When we processed the video, I swear we just wanted it to look *lit*, but now everyone thinks we’re hiding the truth. Just stonks, am I right?” 💸 So what’s the “galaxy brain” move here? Epstein is out there sipping piña coladas with Bigfoot while we’re all down here coping and seething over some VHS footage?👽🥥🕵️‍♂️ 🚀 UNHINGED PREDICTION: Get ready for the Netflix docuseries: “When Conspiracy Theories Go Wild: Epstein Edition.” Euphoria who? This will be the ultimate binge 🤡💥 #GetReady #MindBlown #MemeMagic