🚨📢 BREAKING: *Facebook* gets officially crowned the KING OF ONLINE HARASSMENT 👑💀. Yes, that’s right! The social media dumpster fire that keeps on burning just got *roasted* by Global Witness, and y’all, more than 90% of environmental defenders say FB is like that one ex who just can’t let go! 🥴💔 Think you can escape harassment? CAP! 🙅‍♂️ Activists are drowning in toxic comments on Meta’s platforms worse than a ship full of unsinkable memes that somehow sinks anyway! 💀🚢💥 We’re talking FB, Instagram, X, and WhatsApp – the fab four of cringe and chaos, where the overlords at Meta are too busy counting their *stonks* 💰 to do anything about it! So let’s break it down: 75% of folks think online abuse leads to IRL problems 😳. You mean to tell me that trolls on Facebook aren’t just behind a keyboard snackin’ on pizza rolls? *This is fine* 😩🔥. 🎤 *Leaked quote from a Meta developer*: “When we said 'Move fast and break things,' we didn’t mean people's spirits 😬. But hey, it builds character, right?” 🔥🔥🔥 HOT TAKE TIME: In 2024, Facebook will roll out a subscription for “Troll Protection,” where you'll be able to pay for someone to ghost your feed. *BRB, seething in a corner* 🤡🤖.