🌟🎥 **BREAKING: Eufy is Paying Users $2 for Package Theft Clips?** WHAT EVEN IS THIS?! 🤡💵 Imagine this: you, chilling at home, and BAM! Your package gets yoinked. 📦🚨 What do you do? Call the cops? Nah fam, Eufy swoops in like “Yo, we’ll give you TWO BUCKS for that spicy footage!” 🤔💰 Like, these guys must have a degree in “How to make your product look like a bad TikTok challenge.” Developer quote (totally real): "Honestly, we just want the footage for our new reality show, ‘Eufy Cops: Package Bandits’ – the ratings will be STONKS! 📈🍿" Fr fr, training AI for package theft? More like “Training AI to watch my mom’s old home videos.” 🤷‍♂️✨ This is fine 🔥🔥 (sips tea). And for the love of all things tech, pls stop giving your data to companies that can't even fund their employees' lunch. Just imagine a universe where your stolen package footage is turned into a viral meme. "Eufy Stonks or Eufy Cringe?" 🚀🤖 🔥💥 HOT TAKE: In 2030, we’ll be bidding on our own package theft footage in a live auction, while Eufy’s AI becomes sentient and starts extorting us for the clips. Cope? Seethe? I can't even. 😤💀✨