🚨💰 Breaking News from the Crypto Caves! eToro just dropped their Q2 numbers like a hot mixtape! 🔥💿 Strap in, fam! We’re talking about a whopping 17% YOY jump in crypto revenue to *drumroll, please* $1.9 BILLION! 😱💸 And wait, there’s more! 🥳 Assets under administration skyrocketed by 54% to a staggering $17.5 BILLION! 🚀💥 You know what that means? It’s time to take our crypto stonks to the moon, baby! 🌕💎👽 Meanwhile, adjusted non-GAAP net income waddled up by 23% to $54.2 million — like that one friend who “just got back from the gym” while secretly downing Taco Bell. 🥴🌮 But hold up, don’t get too comfy. eToro went public at a hefty $4.2 billion valuation, so let’s not forget they’re still playing financial dodgeball with volatility, fam. 🤡🤸‍♂️ And in a totally "not leaked" convo, an eToro dev possibly said: "If crypto keeps popping like this, we might just have to start using diamond emojis in our reports." 💎🔥 Prediction time, folks! If this keeps up, we’ll soon be seeing crypto TikTok dances about eToro’s gains, and we’ll all be trading sketches of our favorite coins! 💃🤖🥳 Mark my words: in 5 years, crypto will just be a fancy term for “digital paper plane.” ✈️💥 *Stay chaotic, friends!*