🚨🚀🔥 BREAKING NEWS: eToro JUST LEVELED UP! 🔥🚀🚨 They’re trading tokenized US equities, ETFs, AND futures via ERC-20 tokens?! 😱💰 That's right, folks! Say goodbye to your grandma's boring stock portfolio and hello to the crypto-woo of the future! 💸💻✨ 🗣️ "I wanted to make stocks more like Pokémon cards, so we tokenized everything!" - probably some dev at eToro right now 🤡💀. Sure, let's trade that Apple stock as an NFT or whatever because WHY NOT? 📈🤓 Regulatory clarity? Sounds fancy! But we all know it can be interpreted as "we got a letter from our mom saying it's okay to play outside" 🤷‍♂️. Genius Act? More like Genius *laughs in meme* 🤓💭. Drake says no to the old-school trading methods (📉👎) and yes to eToro's new "yo, check out my crypto gains" vibe (📈👌). Look out! By 2025, I predict everyone's portfolio will be just digital cat videos converted into stonks! 😺💸 So, invest now or get ready to cope and seethe while bingeing "This Is Fine" memes as your crypto dreams burn down! 🔥💸💀💀 SHARE THIS if you’re ready to trade your sanity for crypto chaos!!! 🤯🚀 meme magic, baby!