🎮💥 *Breaking News: Epic Games vs. Apple – The Last Stand of the Stonks! 📈* So, peep this: Epic Games just put on their best knight armor and *slayed* Apple in Australia over their whack App Store rules! 🏰⚔️ You heard it right, fam! The court said, “Yo, let’s side-load like it’s 2010 and get some sweet third-party payments going!” 💰💵 And Apple? Oh, they’re out here acting like a dramatic teen on TikTok, clutching their pearls and crying, “This is harmful!” 😂🤡 Like bro, you’re the same company that puts a $1,000 price tag on a device that costs $37 to manufacture! *No cap.* The judge’s full ruling is 900 pages long - that’s 900 reasons to seethe, Apple! 💀🗒️ Epic’s like Drake pointing, “Y’all can’t pay me for Fortnite skins anymore, so get wrecked!” Meanwhile, Apple is trying to drop some cringey crybaby memes from their corporate HQ as if that’ll help them vibe check the ruling. 🚀👑 In a totally unrelated hot take, I predict that in 30 days, Tim Cook will be trying to sell us an iSledgehammer to “defend our privacy” while Epic drops a VR Battle Royale to finance their next legal escapade. 🎮🔥 LET'S GO!