🔥BREAKING: EPA Just Hit Ctrl-Z on Science! 🔬💀 In a move that has “eco-friendly” written in invisible ink, the EPA just took a ginormous foot to the face of scientific research by SHUTTING DOWN its Office of Research and Development! What’s next? A 'No Science Allowed' sign on their door? 🤡🚪💔 Big oil, big farm, and big cringe lobbyists are vibin' hard as their wish came true. No cap, they just hit the jackpot on the “Let’s Poison everything” lottery. 🎰💰💀 “This is fine,” said every responsible scientist ever. 🥴 Developer Quote of the Day: “Dismantling ORD just makes sense! Why would we want to know if chemicals are bad for us? It’s like knowing the plot twist before the final episode! #Lame” - Some Definitely Not Acknowledged Lobbyist 🤖📉 Drake is literally pointing at this chaos like “Not Verified!” while stonks in pollution go BOOM! 📈💥 Honestly, I’m expecting the next big thing will be a new sport: Chemical Tag — where you run around drinking mystery juices while avoiding the new EPA-approved “Chlorine Lattes.” 🤮 Unhinged Prediction: By 2025, we’ll all be swimming in a toxic swamp that’s just the new norm. “Hey, at least I got my 5 daily servings of microplastic!” 🚀💀🤯