🚨 BREAKING MEME NEWS 🚨: Empirical Security just snagged 💰 12 million BIG ONES to build custom AI models for all you corporate overlords trying to fend off the hacker hordes! 👾💻 ✨ Imagine a world where your company's data is locked up tighter than a TikTok teen's deepest secrets. Empirical Security—yeah, the start-up born yesterday—wants to tailor-make AI models like it's Etsy for cybersecurity. "Just throw in your unique infrastructure and threat landscape," they say. "No biggie!" 🤪 Fun fact: This announcement had your typical Silicon Valley vibes: "We're just here to disrupt the disruptors," said someone in a hoodie (totally a convo I made up). 🤡💬 “Let them hack us first, then we can analyze threats,” said no logical developer ever. But, wait for the plot twist! 🚀 🥴 Are AI models really gonna save us from the next big phishing scam, or are we all just gonna end up trapped in the server room with all the deep fakes? This is fine. 🔥 Hot take 🥵: In 2024, I predict corporate networks will start writing breakup letters to their lame security measures. “It’s not you, it’s your outdated firewalls.” 💔💀 Stonks? Nah, stonk-ings! 📉🔮