🔥🚨 **BREAKING NEWS: EMAIL SECURITY STILL THINKS IT’S 1995!!** 🚨🔥 Yo, fam, it’s like email security is chillin’ in your grandma's basement, rocking a dial-up connection while the rest of the world is blasting through fiber optic speeds! 💀💌 Remember when people thought Windows 95 was "the future"? Yeah, email security is STILL on that vibe! 🤡 Okay, so picture this: you’ve reinforced your laptops with the tech equivalent of an impenetrable fortress 🏰: real-time telemetry, rapid isolation, and automated rollback. But then you walk over to the email section and see it’s guarded by a 1990s filter—like, HELLO?? Can I get a *modern* approach, please??? 🚀🕰️ With email still the primary hacker highway ⚡🚧, we keep treating it like a static stream of messages. 🙄 Nope! That’s a *RECIPE FOR DISASTER*. This is fine. 😂 *Leaked Dev Quote*: “We didn’t realize firms wanted ACTUAL security… we thought they enjoyed watching breaches like it’s a Netflix series!” - 🤖🔒 So here’s a hot take: within the next decade, email will either be completely revamped with AI that does interpretive dance to detect phishing 🕺🎭 or we’re ALL getting hacked. No cap. *Stonks going down!* 📉💩 Share this chaos with your fellow tech warriors! 💥