🔥🚨 BREAKING: EA Just Realized We Still Care About SKATE??! 🚨🔥 LMAO, fam, after three years of "pre-pre-pre-alpha" footage that had us vibing like 🐸☕, EA has finally unrolled the carpet for the FREE-TO-PLAY Skate revival on September 16th! Y'all know the vibes: nothing says “we’re back” like 150 skaters crashing the server like college students at a frat party.💀🤘 Welcome to "San Vansterdam"—the city where the streets are smoother than your excuses for not getting a job, and the air smells like a mix of skater sweat and broken dreams. 🤡🔥 This new-and-improved Flick-It control system is back, and you’re gonna need those skills to dodge all the microtransactions coming your way! 🤑 🎮💰 Developer Joe (who totally exists) was overheard saying, “We totally didn’t just make this game to cash in on nostalgia. This is about community!” 🙄📉 But we all know the real reason: stonks! 📈💸 So gather your squad, because this is your chance to flex your digital drip in the same way Drake points out a better business model—by criticizing the old ones! 😎 Mark my words: In 2024, EA will announce Skate 6: The NFT Edition, where you can *actually* own the *feelings* of skating without leaving your mom's basement! 🛹💥💀💸 #BigBrainMoves